


You wait, little girl, on an empty stage

by merle_p



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-17
Updated: 2009-12-17
Packaged: 2017-10-06 22:35:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merle_p/pseuds/merle_p
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i><b>Kevin McHale (druidDUDE) on twitter:</b></i> rewatching @chriscolfer do single ladies in "preggers" arghh just doesnt get old.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You wait, little girl, on an empty stage

**Author's Note:**

> Written December 2009.  
> _Glee_ belongs to FOX. Chris, Kevin and their fellow cast members only belong to themselves. The title is a line from the Sound of Music song "Sixteen going on seventeen".  
> This fic is a [](http://community.livejournal.com/glee_kink/profile)[**glee_kink**](http://community.livejournal.com/glee_kink/) mash-up fic, so to speak, because I took two prompts and mixed them together. The first one was: _RPF Kevin/Chris: People keep asking Chris to perform the Single Ladies dance during Q&amp;A. Kevin doesn't know how many more performances he can handle before something bursts out of his jeans. _ And the second one: _So the cast seems very protective of Chris, right? Imagine what happens when he gets a boyfriend ... ;)_. Also inspired by several interviews, pictures and tweets (see: endnotes).

  
**Kevin McHale (druidDUDE) on twitter:**  
rewatching @chriscolfer do single ladies in "preggers" arghh just doesnt get old   
_8:08 AM Oct 14th from web_  


***

 

It's the butt-slap. The butt-slap gets him every time.

Kevin thinks it's kind of tragic, that he's going to die of a heart-attack at the tender age of 21, but he tries to accept the inevitable like a man: because he knows that if he has to watch Chris perform "Single Ladies" one more time, it's going to kill him.

Watching the opening sequence of "Preggers" is bad enough, seeing Chris wiggle his ass in that tight, black sequin … _thing_; but watching him do it on stage, in real life, and _from behind_ – that's torture, plain and simple.

The fans love it though. The first season is almost over, only two more episodes to air, and they've been on countless talk shows, have done countless PR things – but wherever they go, people demand to see Chris, Jenna and Heather do the "Single Ladies" routine, and Kevin is starting to dread the moment when Mark and Cory gently push Chris forward to the front of the stage, when Amber and Lea start to sing, when Chris – yeah.

Today is no difference. They are back in Boston, for a signing and some Q&amp;A, and once more, the first question is "Single Ladies, please?" And once again, Kevin is treated with the sight of Chris' pert little ass in tight-fitting jeans, moving in time with the music, and there it is, horrifying and delicious: comb through the hair, and _slap the butt._

Kevin thinks very hard of his mail man - whom he never ran over with his car, thank God, but who is old and ugly and usually very effective when he needs to get rid of an unwanted boner.

***

He's still pondering his mail man's physical disadvantages when they leave the stage a few minutes later, Amber and Chris ambling right behind him, and this is why Kevin blames the poor man for what happens next.

"That went well, don't you think?" he hears Chris asking, sounding excited and upbeat, and Amber replies: "They adored you, baby, that's for sure. It's insane how much they love the _Single ladies_ thing."

And this is when Kevin bursts out, without thinking: "God, if I have to see this dance one more time, I'm going to shoot myself in the head."

There's a brief, deep silence, during which Kevin considers killing himself _right now_, and then Chris says, quietly:

"Yeah, I guess it's kind of stupid, right?"

Kevin turns around, and Chris is just standing there, looking awkward and embarrassed and almost ashamed, and damn, this is the last thing he wanted.

But Chris walks away before he can even open his mouth, and Kevin is left to face Amber, who has crossed her arms over her chest and does not look very happy. Kevin takes a step backwards, because angry Amber is a scary thing.

"Why the hell did you say that?" she hisses furiously. "You know how he is. He just wants people to like him. And just because you were in a boy band doesn't mean you get to act like a jaded asshole around him."

Kevin says nothing. Because "Every time I see him dance I think about pounding his ass into a mattress" somehow doesn't seem like an adequate answer, and he doubts it's what Amber wants to hear.

Chris doesn't mention it again. And if he acts different around Kevin for the rest of the day, more hesitant and subdued, Kevin has no-one to blame but himself. He goes to sleep with a knot in his stomach and a hard-on between his legs, the most unfortunate combination, and dreams about spanking Chris in a black unitard.

***

The next day, they are in Chicago, and the fans ask them to do "Single Ladies", and Chris refuses.

He smiles and blushes and pleads fatigue and a sprained ankle (which is, as far as Kevin knows, a blatant lie), but he doesn't budge. Jenna, who already got in position, looks slightly betrayed; Amber looks like she's about to explode; the rest of the cast just look confused. Chris ducks behind the shield of Cory's broad shoulders and stays there for the rest of the show. And Kevin thinks that he would give anything right now to see Chris slap his own behind in front of hundreds of people.

He waits until they are at the hotel before he seeks him out, and walks up and down the hallway three times before he gathers the courage to knock on Chris' door.

"Hey", Chris says when he lets him in, smiling faintly. "What's up?" He goes back to unpacking his bag – pajamas on the bed, book on the night stand – although Kevin gets the feeling that it's more about having something to do with his hands, because usually Chris is not quite that pedantic about his stuff.

"Listen", Kevin says, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. "I wanted to say sorry. For yesterday."

"Oh." Chris pauses, fist clenched around a pair of socks. He's blushing. "No, you – you were right. I mean, it's getting kind of old, right? I don't want to make a fool out of myself."

Kevin shakes his head, takes a deep breath. "That's – that's not quite what I meant."

Chris shoots him a confused look. "I don't – what do you mean?"

"Look", Kevin says, and now he's the one who's blushing, he can feel it, the heat creeping up his neck. "The thing is - " He sighs. "I don't think it's stupid. Kind of the opposite, actually. And that's the problem. It's – you know. Kind of hot."

"Oh", Chris says, and then: "_Oh._"

Kevin bites his lip and waits for Chris to freak. Or maybe kiss him. He'd definitely prefer the second alternative, although to be honest: he'd already be happy if Chris didn't run away screaming.

Chris doesn't run. He just smiles, looking relieved, but also kind of sad (and hell, that doesn't make sense at all); and then he says: "You know, you should tell her."

"What?" Kevin shakes his head in confusion, because this is not quite the reaction he expected. "Who?"

Chris sighs. It's a Kurt sigh, the one that says _Why do I even put up with you?_. "Jenna", he says, like it's obvious. "If you like her, you should – I don't know, ask her out or something."

"What?" Kevin repeats. "No! No, I don't -"

"So it's Heather?" Chris asks, surprised. "I mean – don't get me wrong, I'm sure you can have anybody you want, obviously -" He looks away nervously.

"No", Kevin protests again, and he's beginning to think that this is probably the most surreal conversation he's ever had. "No, I'm not – I'm not in love with Heather!"

Chris opens his mouth, but before he can answer, Cory pokes his head into the room. "Who's in love with Heather?" he asks, grinning widely.

Chris closes his mouth, shakes his head, and disappears into the bathroom. Cory stares after him in confusion, and Kevin sort of misses Artie's wheelchair. Because right now he really feels like driving himself against a wall.

***

The good thing is: In Seattle, Chris dances to "Single Ladies" again, and if he does it a little bit less enthusiastic than before, the fans probably don't notice.

The bad thing is: In Portland, Jenna corners Kevin on his way to the breakfast room, first thing in the morning.

"Can you tell me why Chris thinks you are in love with me?" she asks sharply. "Because he just told me that you had a crush on me, and I know for a fact that this is bullshit, so I'm kind of curious as to where he got that idea."

Kevin groans and buries his face in his hands. It's far too early and he hasn't even had coffee yet. "I didn't tell him anything", he says, and he doesn't care if he sounds desperate and pathetic. "I was actually trying to tell him that he's kind of hot when he dances, but somehow, he thought I was talking about you, and I tried to convince him otherwise, but then Cory showed up and wanted details about Heather's love life, and now my life is about to end in a tragedy, and I just hope you're all going to come to my funeral."

Jenna seems mostly unfazed, although she shakes her head in what looks a lot like disbelief.

"Boys", she says. "Thank God you are not actually in love with me, because you'd drive me insane within a day." She sighs. "Although I guess I can't blame you for Chris' ignorance. I mean, how can he not realize that you are into him? I saw the youtube videos of our performance in Seattle, and you didn't take your eyes off his ass for a second." She pauses. "It was actually kind of creepy."

"Geez, thank you", Kevin replies sarcastically. "That really helps a lot."

"Well, you can't expect me to come up with good advice before my first cup of coffee", Jenna says. "You should just tell him, though. What's the worst thing that can happen?"

Kevin stares at her. "I don't know, he could, maybe, like, _turn me down_?"

Jenna shrugs. She's obviously not impressed. "Come on, it's not like he would be _mean_ about it. And think of it that way: at least hearing that you like him will be great for his self-esteem."

"And what about _my_ self-esteem?" Kevin asks indignantly. Jenna smiles.

"I'm not worried about that."

"Then you are the only one", he grumbles weakly, watching her saunter down the hallway, and it doesn't help when Dianna walks by a moment later, stopping in front of him to say casually, as if she's talking about the weather:

"You know, if you hurt him, there are about a dozen people just waiting to cut off your dick."

***

The thing is, it's not just Chris' butt that Kevin likes. In fact, Kevin pretty much likes everything there is about him, or more exactly: has liked from day one.

Granted, at first it was more a "Oh, cute nose, hope we'll get along, but where the hell does he buy his clothes?" kind of like-him. Which, over the course of two weeks, morphed into a "Pretty cool guy, and kind of hilarious, we're going to be such good friends, and OMG, I love his nose" sort of like-him, and by the time they were shooting "Acafellas", Kevin was pretty much head over heels.

When Lea convinced him to get the tattoo and Chris practically held his hand throughout the whole thing, he was on the verge of telling the tattooist to just forget the whole "imagine" thing and just tattoo "I heart Chris Colfer" all over his butt.

Not that the rest of the cast isn't in love with Chris, but Kevin is pretty sure that the others don't spend every waking moment fantasizing about licking the tip of Chris' nose, or sucking on his toes.

The point is: Kevin is only 21, so it's not as if he has got a whole lot of experience, but he was in a boy band, he _has_ done things. And he's usually not that chicken-hearted when it comes to telling people what he wants, but Chris? That's different, and not just because every single member of the cast (and the crew) is keeping a jealous watch over Chris' virtue.

***

"So I might have done something stupid", Chris says.

He's sitting on Kevin's hotel bed, hair slightly mussed, and he's wearing his The Police t-shirt. It's the same that he wears in that picture from the H-Magazine shooting – the picture that makes him look like a debauched punk rock version of Tinkerbell, the picture that Kevin shamelessly ripped out of the journal and keeps now hidden between two pages of "The Princess Bride" ("Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.").

It's a distracting sight, and so it takes a while for the words to sink in.

"You – what?" Kevin says when he finally trusts himself to speak.

Chris plucks at the hem of his shirt. "I sort of might have told Jenna that you like her – I didn't mean to, I swear, but she wanted to know why I didn't want to do the dance in Chicago, and it just ... kind of slipped out?" He laughs nervously. "But I don't think she believed me, so maybe it's not so bad?"

Kevin sighs. If he's going to do this, he really wants to be sitting down for it, but the single chair in his room is piled with clothes, so it's either the floor or the bed. In the end, he chooses the bed, carefully settling down as far away from Chris as possible.

"Chris", he says, as firmly as he can manage. "I'm not in love with Jenna." Chris looks like he's about to protest, so he continues quickly: "And I'm not in love with Heather either. Actually, I'm not that much into girls at all."

"You ..." Chris looks like he's been hit by a slushie. "What – what are you saying?" he asks finally, his voice dangerously close to breaking.

"I'm saying", Kevin answers, taking a deep breath. "I'm saying that I like you. I'm saying that you are hot and beautiful and kind of amazing, and that I'm thinking about you all the time, and it drives me crazy."

Chris swallows. He is kind of pale, and Kevin just hopes that he's not going to faint. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Kevin raises a brow. "Duh. Because I was afraid that you didn't like me back? Also, kind of worried that Naya and Amber would decide to tie me up in a basement and pull out all my finger nails to punish me for having impure thoughts about their baby boy."

Chris gives him a strange look, and Kevin wonders if hiding under the bed would be a good idea.

"But mostly", he rambles instead, "mostly I was afraid that you didn't like me back." He pauses. "Actually, I still am. So, if you could just say something now? Please?"

Chris still has this dazed look on his face, and Kevin prays that he didn't give him a full-size trauma with his speech. Because Ryan would probably be really angry if he had to let Kurt die in a dumpster accident after only one season.

But suddenly the corners of his lips curve in a shy little smile. "Do you really think I'm hot?" he asks, and he sounds so incredulous and sweet and hopeful that Kevin just can't help himself.

Which is how he ends up pushing Chris against the headboard of the hotel bed, hands on each side of his neck (his lovely, snow-white neck), and pressing a heated kiss against Chris' half-opened lips.

And Chris moans, a tiny, strangled, desperate sound, and pushes back into the kiss. He fists his hands in Kevin's black suspenders and licks into his mouth, arching against him, and Kevin might have imagined this, once or twice, but never, never did it feel like this.

He breaks the kiss when his glasses start getting in the way, and Chris chases after him impatiently. His eagerness sends waves of arousal down Kevin's spine all the way to his groin, and as soon as the glasses are safe on the night stand, his hands are back on Chris, pulling at his shirt, because he really needs to get his hands on his skin. Preferably yesterday.

And then the shirt is gone and Chris laid out before him, and his pale skin flushes with every touch of Kevin's trembling finger tips. And in view of this glorious, naked body, all those things Kevin imagined doing to him fly out of the window together with what's left of his sanity, and soon they are just grinding against each other, fumbling and panting, trying to get closer, and closer still.

***

"So", Chris says afterwards, when they have curled up under the covers, Kevin's arm around Chris's shoulders, Chris pressing his whole body against Kevin's, slipping one leg between his knees. Kevin wasn't sure if Chris would be a cuddler, but he is glad to find out that he is.

"So all that stuff about the dancing, that was –"

"That was me freaking out about your hotness, yeah." Kevin nods, there's no point denying it now, and who cares if he sounds like a pathetic, lovesick teenager? Apart from the fact that he's two years past the teenager age, that description sounds pretty accurate anyway.

"But", Chris still sounds weirdly timid, and Kevin thinks that he shouldn't be allowed to be so shy after coming all over him and the hotel bed sheets. "I mean, now that you – you know, got it out of your system – I mean, this is … not just a one-time thing, right?"

"Dude", Kevin says. "I've already been threatened with a painful and horrible death by three different people, and I'm pretty sure Cory and Mark will happily put their signatures on the 'We are going to kill anyone who even looks at Chris Colfer the wrong way' list. And I really like my life, especially _now_, so believe me when I say that I'm dead serious about this."

"Oh", Chris makes, and his breath ghosts over Kevin's skin, catches against his nipple. "Oh, well. Good." He's quiet for a while, and then he says: "I'm glad you don't have a crush on Jenna."

"Me too", Kevin says, heartfeltedly. And he knows that it's a stupid thing to ask, considering that Chris' head is resting on Kevin's chest, and his fingers are drawing obscure symbols against his belly, but he has to be sure: "Uhm. Does that mean that you like me, too?"

Chris laughs, his giggles fluttering over Kevin's skin like fairy dust (Oh God, Kevin thinks, I'm turning into a Disney character), and says: "Yes. Yes, that means I like you too."

***

That night, they have an impromptu jam session in Harry's room. Chris is a bit drunk, and he keeps rubbing his head against Kevin's shoulder, causing everyone to give them the kind of "Awww" looks that are usually reserved for babies, kittens and romantic comedies with Katherine Heigl.

Kevin is surprisingly okay with that. Later, Chris sings "Sixteen going on seventeen", which sounds oddly sweet and terribly naughty coming from his mouth, and it's probably the most ironically-romantic declaration of love that Kevin could have imagined.

At some point, Matthew comes up to him, wearing his Mr. Schuester face. "You know that I'm happy for you, right?", he says, sounding serious (and also, drunk): „Just – just be careful not to hurt him."

Kevin sighs. "To tell the truth", he drawls, and he totally blames the alcohol for both the Texas slang and the soppiness creeping into his voice. "Considering that he could crush my heart with a single word, I don't think you've got anything to worry about."

Matthew hugs him clumsily, looking like he's about to cry, which – uh, weird, and the situation has got the potential to become really awkward, but right in this moment someone puts on "Single Ladies", and Heather drags Chris up from the floor and to the middle of the room, and Kevin suddenly has got other things to worry about.

Not that he minds. Dying from a heart-attack at age 21 suddenly doesn't seem that bad a way to go out.

**Author's Note:**

> **Sources:**
> 
> Chris and Jenna do "Single Ladies" [at the Gleek Tour in NJ](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8VhY0AI4S8),and [on 7pm Project Australia](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIc4adD3aX4&feature=related).
> 
> Kevin and Lea talk about [getting the matching tattoos](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fXCUnKt61A) (around 09:15).
> 
> The picture of Chris [in H-Magazine](http://gleewiki.fox.com/photo/8351836/chris+colfer+h+magazine).
> 
> The novel ["The Princess Bride" by William Goldman](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Princess_Bride).
> 
> Lyrics of [Sixteen going on seventeen](http://www.allmusicals.com/lyrics/soundofmusicthe/sixteengoingonseventeen.htm) from "The Sound of Music"


End file.
